# Contemplating Loneliness

That last section ended a bit hollow for me ...

Life isn't so easy that one can just sing-a-song to change their mood ... at least not in the beginning.

:::danger Actual Magic
I used to use a trick when I caught my mind going somewhere I didn't want to go ...

As soon as I realized where my mind was going I repeated the phrase, "I have lives, and loves and dreams." Often three times ... and this was enough to scramble my brain, so as to clear my mind for the next random thought ... It was like shaking a magic 8 ball; _Nope! Next message!_
:::

The dude lived a crazy life ... was a fighter pilot in World War I; returned home a hero, so his uncle gifted him enough money that he'd never have to worry about it again.

Went mountain climbing in India ... and then dove headfirst into the occult ... [Aleister Crowley](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aleister_Crowley) was considered one of the most evil entities in his time, and afterwards.

Though he wrote one particular part of a book that I wish to mention ... [Part 1 of Book 4](https://invisiblehouse.org/pdf/liber004_1.pdf).

In this collection Aleister recounts the precise method of meditation, and it's objective purpose; the key points of which I will now fail to recount or paraphrase accurately.

All of our minds are racing ... constantly, most of us can't control our thoughts, and those who say that they can are the least capable. Nonetheless, only the truest failures forsake the effort to try again; and so we arm ourselves will tools.

Meditation being one such tool ... And while often think of meditation as perhaps closing our eyes, or staring at a wall ... sitting still, or maybe even lying still ... but what is the purpose ?!?

Is the purpose to clear our minds ... empty our conscious to become one with the void ?!?

_Or is that just the drugs talking?_

I mean, it sounds like a nearly impossible feat to me ... so, no.

That is not the expectation I'm going to bring to meditation ...

Rather, it is a time to observe our thoughts ... as each passes through our mind, ask of it, wherefrom do you travel, and why? What is your aspiration, and what is your fear?

And in this manner, weighing the might and mettle of our thoughts ... some we will deem virtuous, _and perhaps it is these we might learn to guard most against ..._ while others we will hopefully be compelled to inquire ... what pain bore this negative emanation?

And so journey further within ourselves to find the deeper wounds that need healing.

Meditation is about the time we take to do this work ...

We do not close our eyes, or stare at a wall, in order to clear our minds ... but rather to more clearly see the journey each thought has taken to arrive at the surface of our consciousness;

And whereto it might be best served to go.
